Sep 30, 2016

Just when I think I'm teaching...

So, what is it REALLY like to raise a free human being? It’s highly inspiring, truly challenging and often uncomfortable. Overall it’s a blessing!

Nothing is ever truly known or straight-forward, there is nothing “usual” or fixed in our lives, although we do try to function – at least to some extent – according to this linear reality.

The habit of WANTING to MAKE children understand, rather than enter their world, almost always falls on its face, as I am reminded again and again that not only does it not work but also that it is a violent act of intrusion without the necessary understanding included in it.

Any time you sit on a pedestal with these children, you must also remain prepared to get thrown right off it, with the easiness of their innocent, internal wisdom. Most of the time, I am reminded - thankfully with willingness -  that I still have a lot to learn.

Discussions are always the most challenging with my nine-year old and this last one wasn’t any different. We were sitting talking at the kitchen table in the evening, when she comes up with the realization that both her “mind”, which is what she calls her ego (showing it on the left side of her brain) and her “self”, showing her right side of her brain, are “both very intelligent”. The first one, she said, pushes her to the “easy road”, while the other wants her to follow the “difficult road”. Her own words! She didn’t name the one “bad” and the other “good” and I didn’t program those distinctions in her.

She realized that SHE is in the middle, CAN hear both and has to decide each time who she wants to be. She realized that the temptation to follow the easy road is a great one because it speaks of immediate, visible satisfaction and that listening to the voice of the difficult road is no easy task.

We hadn’t spoken about such concepts or mapped out the mind before this, which we could have done, since it all concerns my life's work. I was totally amazed at her effortless realization.

I am wondering how our world would change if we, as adults, would to remain open to learn and change,  instead of so easily jumping to conclusions and hurriedly categorizing everything...eager to persuade and enforce instead of allowing and paying attention.

How do we discover and “pick” brain dominance? I am realizing that if a child is left alone and allowed to grow naturally, there is no distinct “dominance” but rather areas of maturity and other which can be cultivated to inspire a whole brain-mind. And all this is a very serious and difficult task because we can easily go against the Self, by just sticking to what we already know, by unconsciously needing children to conform.

One of her questions after realizing all this was, “so why then do I have a mind” (ego), since it gets me into trouble and makes the other voice in me difficult to hear? This was a real challenger, which I must specify and understand to be able to communicate in simple/doable language!

Both are memory and imagination-based but very differently so. The ego is linked to our past, our experiences in individuality, and our interpretations of it. It talks of our instincts and most often preserves our body-mind survival mechanism, as it is fear-based and highly useful. The self is linked to our future, the possibilities, and our desire. It is play/passion based, thus uses intuition to communicate with us. This part is more interested in our evolution rather than preservation.

Each part of our “two halves” is packed with valuable information, which our task, as conscious/waking Egos, is to bring to the surface of our consciousness, to appreciate, understand and use. 

The (becoming) conscious observer/actor in the middle, existing in linear time has the task of choosing right action, each moment. Not by method of rejecting, subtracting and dividing (as we have been doing) but by synthesizing, remembering, imagining, equally respecting experience and desire.

If we adults dare to imagine the difficulty of combining all this information with real-life hours, days, phases of maturity, the necessity of understanding through experience and coming to Self-realization, we wouldn’t so easily violate our children’s inner world, forcing them into a world that expects much less of who they truly are.

And right brain/mind could rewrite this whole article in a completely different way that would seem like a totally different subject to my left brain/mind, with no apparent connection whatsoever... 

In the same way, most people think that my daughter is being immature or just plain playful, when she's discussing highly serious and sensitive concepts, which they simply cannot decode.

But my challenge (and blessing) remains...Just when I think that I am teaching, I find myself learning...

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